Privacy Policy: Because Even Your Muffin Top Has Secrets
Welcome to Our Privacy Policy
Let’s be honest—most privacy policies are about as exciting as unsalted rice cakes. Ours? More like a cheat meal with comedy frosting. We’re “All the Calories,” and we’re here to break it down without breaking your brain.
Yes, we track what you eat. No, we won’t tell your mom you ate six Pop-Tarts at 2 a.m.
We See You Logging That ‘Half Cookie’ – And We’re Judging Gently
Look, when you log “1/8th of a brownie,” we get it. You’re trying. But our servers do record that. And they sigh. Not judgmentally—just… disappointedly, like a fitness trainer watching you use ranch as a beverage.
But don’t worry, your micro-snack secrets stay between us, your calorie calculator, and the cloud that’s been quietly judging your cheese intake.
Your Data Is Safe—Even If Your Willpower Isn’t
All your food logs, weight entries, and late-night guilty snacks are encrypted. Yes, even that “midnight lasagna” you pretended was “leftovers for portion control.”
We won’t sell your info, leak your macros, or tell your ex that you now log everything. This is a safe space. Even for folks who count ketchup as a vegetable.
We Use Your Info to Help You Lose Weight, Not Your Dignity
Our goal is to give you insights—not to expose you. We analyze your inputs to make better suggestions. Like: “Hey, maybe don’t eat 2,700 calories of trail mix. You’re not hiking Everest.”
We’re here to nudge, not narc.
What We Don’t Collect: Your Deepest Cravings or Secret Stashes
We don’t track what’s in your secret snack drawer or that cookie you “accidentally” dropped into your mouth. If you don’t log it, we don’t know it. This is calorie counting, not CSI: Kitchen Edition.
Third Parties: We Share with No One—Not Even the Kale Lobby
We don’t sell your info to salad bars, juice cleanses, or that guy on Instagram selling powdered spinach. If we work with any partners (rare), they’re vetted harder than your blind dates.
You’re safe from spam, scams, and quinoa cults.
Anonymized Data? Yup. We Do That Too. Relax—Nobody Knows You Ate Three Corn Dogs
Sometimes we study trends like “how many people eat pizza on Mondays.” We remove your name, and boom—it’s anonymous. You’re a mystery wrapped in an enigma dipped in Nutella.
No shame. Just science.
Delete Your Data Anytime—But We’ll Miss Your Snack Logs
If you ever want to go off-grid (or just stop logging your bagel habit), you can delete your account. Your data will vanish like your willpower in front of birthday cake.
No hard feelings. But your protein intake will miss you.
Consent: Because We’re All About That Transparent Relationship Life
By using our app, you’re saying, “Yes, I want to be better. Yes, I want support.
We respect that. You give us permission, and we give you power—over calories, goals, and hopefully… your snack drawer.
Contact Us: No Judgment, Just Help (and Maybe a Recipe)
Got questions? Confused about what we do with your data? Email us. We promise we won’t respond with “Did you really log nachos as a salad again?”
Unless you want us to. Then… we’ll send encouragement. And fiber-rich recipes.
Final Thought: Privacy Is Sweet—But Not Sugar-Free
At “All the Calories,” your privacy is like your macros—important, personal, and not to be messed with. We’re here to support your journey, protect your info, and laugh with you (never at you) about the beautiful chaos of eating like a human.
Now go log that cookie. It deserves to be remembered.